


Remorse

by meronichan



Category: Thunderbolt Fantasy 東離劍遊紀 (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:14:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21927259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meronichan/pseuds/meronichan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	1. To be Discovered

There was – and perhaps still is - outside of space and time, a world of woe. The landscape there was almost entirely barren. It was dismal, devoid of all cheer.

Above the earth in this place hung a sky the color of flowing lava, through which wisps of gray clouds moved perpetually, yielding no rain. The dry dirt beneath, strewn with cracks, allowed nothing to grow. Dotting the flat plains were a variance of jagged rocks, sharp as pointed glass. In the distance from nearly every direction loomed mountains of a similar make, but no snow crowned them, and no trees sprouted from them.

A cold wind blew there incessantly, stirring the sandy soil and beating it against anything in its path. The temperature fluctuated with no discernable pattern: boiling hot one moment, and then bitterly cold the next. It seemed the very antithesis of life.

This was the world that Sha Wu Sheng saw when he first opened his eyes.

It took him a moment to adjust to the change. He was laying down, and he attempted to move himself into a sitting position with some difficulty. Everything ached him, his mouth was parched, and the mental fog looming over him made it almost impossible to think clearly. 

Squinting his eyes, he glanced about in all directions, trying to discern where he was, unable to make any set judgement. Nothing about the place seemed familiar, or even natural. He had heard rumors of what the demon realm looked like, and for a moment he thought someone may have dragged him there for a sinister purpose that he had yet to discover.

Out of the corner of his vision, he saw a streak of bright red below him. Glancing down at his torso, he saw for the first time the gash from Mie Tian Hai’s blade, the one wound which had brought an end to the Screaming Phoenix Killer.

His blood – if he had any left – seemed to curdle in his thinning veins. A weak gasp escaped his dry throat. He touched the mark, fingering the clots and frayed skin with a pale finger. As he did so, the memories suddenly rushed back to him, playing backwards in his mind as if the gods were reading his life story to him, one painful moment at a time.

In Dong Li they had many words for this place, and all of them amounted to the same thing. Wu Sheng knew what it was at that moment. This was not the realm of demons. This was the final resting place of the forgotten dead, the wayward souls torn from life with lingering regret. Burdened with karma, they roamed the desert endlessly.

Wanting comfort, but receiving none. Searching for an escape, but finding none. Desiring pleasure, and feeling none.

In desperation, Wu Sheng attempted to stand, but both his body and his soul were weakened beyond repair. He slumped down once again onto the hard, unforgiving ground below, bosom heaving, and yet not even able to cry. His pathetic, choking sobs were heard by no one.

Wu Sheng had thought that he wanted to die. When alive, the concept of dying was something that he yearned for, rather than ran from. His greatest accomplishment as a swordsman was to fall at the hands of a man stronger than he. Through the pain of his fatal wound, he was able to smile for the first time since his youth. What a release it had been. What a thrill!

But what of that now?

The frigid wind blew through him, the feathers on his clothing dancing against his exposed skin. He could feel them, yes. He hadn’t lost all sense of feeling yet. But was that a blessing here, or a curse?

His attention went to the dark red patches of the stratosphere above, aglow like burning embers. In it, he could see the tantalizing ruby eyes of Lin Xue Ya, holding so many secrets, so many lies. But the face that he remembered then was almost remorseful, watching his mortal body fade away before him as if to say: “rest now, it is done.”

Wu Sheng held out his arm, grasping at the sky, as if he could see that face in it, touch it, hold it for himself. Finding the notion ridiculous, and his predicament hopeless, his face contorted in rage.

He balled his fist, furiously pelting the ground, sending puffs of sand flying with each blow. He let out a piercing scream, which echoed far across the landscape. The voice was seeped with despair and longing:

“XUE YA! XUE YA!”

Was he cursing the man, or summoning him?

Using the last of his strength for the endeavor, Wu Sheng fell flat on his stomach, his eyes losing all luster as the last of his lingering memories with Lin Xue Ya slowly faded away. His desire for revenge was the only thing propelling him forwards. Without it, he had nothing left.

 _No_ , he thought. He had nothing to begin with.

He drifted again into sleep.

\----

Upon waking, Sha Wu Sheng found himself laying on a hard surface. It was not the ground, and he felt no wind hitting him. He seemed to be indoors, though what sort of building could exist in this place, he couldn’t guess.

“About time. Didn’t think you would ever get up,” came a gruff voice from behind him.

Immediately jolting up and out of the bed, Wu Sheng turned about and saw the figure of a man sitting on the windowsill nearby, gazing out into the darkened landscape. The man was fairly tall and robust, and his hair – streaked with grays, the sign of middle age - fell behind him in dark waves. He was adorned with pelts and beads, and hanging to his side was a crudely fashioned bow. Strapped to his back was a similarly constructed quiver full of arrows.

Without looking to Wu Sheng, the man reached for the weapon and one arrow. Placing the arrow on the bow and drawing the string, he took careful aim and released it into the void outside the window. 

In a few seconds, a piercing wail could be heard in the distance,…quite far, if Wu Sheng could gauge from this vantage point. The man had hit his human target.

“Miserable bastard,” was all he said before placing the bow back at his side, and turning his head to Wu Sheng. It was then that the Phoenix Killer could see the man’s face, and his covered eye.

“You!” exclaimed Wu Sheng, reaching for his swords, which he remembered were no longer there.

The man laughed at Wu Sheng’s immediate displeasure at remembering him.

“Happy to see you again, too,” he remarked, moving to stand and craning his neck to crack it, easing the tension in his muscles. He’d evidently been scanning the horizon for quite some time.

“No need to be so uptight. It took me a long time to drag you back here, you know. You’re the last guy I ever expected to find like that,…but at the same time, I can’t say I’m all that surprised, either.”

Wu Sheng, realizing he was in a position of weakness without his weapons, reluctantly let his arms fall to his sides, crossing them soon after and glaring at the person he knew to be the Sharp-Eyed Impaler, Shou Yun Xiao.

“What exactly is it that you want with me?” Wu Sheng questioned his supposed captor. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what the two had to talk about, or why Yun Xiao would go through the trouble to carry him that far.

How far were they though, really, from where he’d fallen? Did distance matter at all?

“Who, me? Oh, I don’t want anything. It’s just that he heard you screaming, and recognized the voice right away. He told me that I should go out there to greet you. I didn’t expect to find you unconscious.”

At the indistinct he, Wu Sheng’s heartbeat began thumping violently against his chest cavity. He was surprised that what was left of the organ was even capable of doing that at all, with the gaping wound there. 

It couldn’t be. No,…he wouldn’t,…not so easily, so quickly! He wasn’t ready! Not like this!

Seeing the puzzled expression and surprise on Wu Sheng’s face, Yun Xiao slapped his chest and let out a hearty laugh.

“I know exactly what you’re thinking. But don’t get excited. Both you and I know the person you’re expecting would never be asking for you.”

At that, the intense anger and anticipation Wu Sheng felt immediately turned into a painful thorn, jabbing his raw and tender emotions. He clenched his fists, moving into a defensive stance.

“Even though I am unarmed, I can still do damage to you. You best watch your mouth, Impaler.”

Yun Xiao shrugged.

“I’m already dead. Trust me, I’ve had worse.”

As Yun Xiao moved closer, Wu Sheng could see a ring of impressed skin around the other’s thick neck. It looked rather like a rope burn,…or, more precisely, a whip.

Wu Sheng raised a brow, and he loosened his body.

“Done in by a demon, was it? It seems both you and I were outdone by the wiles of red-eyed tricksters.”

Yun Xiao moved past Wu Sheng towards the opposite side of the room, where there was an open doorframe cut into the side of the rock. The entire castle – if it could called that – was fashioned of the same sharp stones that comprised most of the landscape of the realm.

“Don’t put yourself and I in the same category, Phoenix Killer. I only died a bodily death, but you’ve been dead a long, long time before you ever ended up here.”

With that quip, the Sharp-Eyed Impaler exited the room, his back wide open. He really didn’t seem to care if Wu Sheng attempted to attack him at that moment. Not fearing for one’s life or reputation lent a certain tranquility to the man’s demeanor, but also a palpable despondency. Perhaps true suffering wasn’t endless physical punishment, but rather eternal longing, and ceaseless regret.

Instead of immediately following Yun Xiao, Wu Sheng walked back towards the window, once again feeling the chill from the endless gale blowing in every direction. He could see that the room he was in was many miles above the surface, and that dotted across the plains were tiny, moving specks: other lost souls, just like himself, endlessly roaming.

“So, that is how he amuses himself,” Wu Sheng remarked, with no hint of judgement. In that way he and Yun Xiao were of the same ilk. To be one of Xue Ya’s companions, the Impaler certainly wasn’t a person of as a heroic demeanor as he portrayed while alive, that much was certain. 

Not knowing of Yun Xiao’s involvement in his own downfall, Wu Sheng had dismissed him as simply another victim of Xue Ya’s treachery, much like himself. Beyond that, he had no interest in the man. Being so far from the thief, Wu Sheng knew that threatening him for any attachment was pointless now.

“You coming or not, Phoenix Killer?” came a commanding voice from Yun Xiao, further inside.

Having no reason to protest, and in actuality quite curious just who it was that could command a man like Yun Xiao to complete such an arduous task, Wu Sheng slid out of the room and down a long corridor, leading to a dangerously narrow flight of stairs surrounding a central pillar.

Following the Impaler several steps behind, eventually the pair turned a corner which opened into an expansive area akin to a meeting hall, or throne room. Even before entering, Wu Sheng had become aware of a plethora of voices speaking in hushed tones.

“So, there are many of them,” he said to himself. “What sort of person could ensnare the rabble that populates this desert?”

At the far end of the hall sat a person dressed entirely in black, with pale skin and long, ebony tresses. He was remarkably handsome, though his emerald eyes were cold, yielding little in the way of tenderness to whomever he looked upon. On either side of him were hooded and masked persons, nameless men and women protecting their master even in death.

When the pair of men had come close enough to be a comfortable distance from the person on the throne, Wu Sheng’s eyes immediately went to the lord’s chest, which sported an injury not dissimilar to his own. How could this be?

“In case you’re wondering, Phoenix Killer, the Enigmatic Gale was not the one who inflicted this wound on me,” said the lord, whom Wu Sheng knew to be his killer, Mie Tian Hai. “You should know his methods are unlike yours were. In actuality, yours were much more merciful.”

Both Mie Tian Hai and Yun Xiao snickered, being of similar mind in regards to Lin Xue Ya and Sha Wu Sheng’s methodologies for dealing with foes. Both had sent a multitude of people to this place, the only thing that differed was Xue Ya’s preference to have his targets destroy themselves, rather than Wu Sheng’s direct approach.  


Glancing from Mie Tian Hai to Shou Yun Xiao, Wu Sheng’s visage darkened.

“I hope you fools didn’t bring me here to reminisce about such stupidity,” he said petulantly.

Though his words were barbed, deep inside of him, he was relieved to have met others like himself in this world, ones who still held some semblance of humanity. If what they retained could be called such.

“How dare you show such disrespect to our master!” one of the guards spat.

“And after we went through the trouble of burying you with dignity! What a mistake!” said the other.

Mie Tian Hai raised his hand.

“Enough. I did not make this effort to cause more conflict. In actuality, when I realized the person whom I had heard echoing across the plains was the very same Phoenix Killer whose life I had cut so abruptly short, it filled me with intense pleasure.”

Mie Tian Hai, also known as Bones of Creation, sat back in his throne and peered down at the hole he’d opened in Wu Sheng’s pale torso.

“All of my mortal life I dedicated to the path of the sword. It was by the sword which I desired so that I met my own end. But I chose that end for myself. Ah,…” Mie Tian Hai looked to the ceiling as he recalled the moment of his demise. “The look on the Gale’s face was exquisite once he realized what I had done. It was a shame you couldn’t have been there to witness it, Phoenix Killer.”

Attempting to picture what sort of face that may have been left Wu Sheng feeling restless. Shock, disappointment, fear,…all emotions that he had never known the cool and detached Xue Ya to express in all the years he had known him. The knowledge that it was someone that both men barely knew who had brought forth such a reaction sent waves of jealousy through Wu Sheng.

“I’m leaving. This is ridiculous.”

Wu Sheng turned around to exit the strange meeting, only to find his way barred by the massive form of Yun Xiao and several of Mie Tian Hai’s other henchmen, who had evidently been hiding in the shadows should this situation arise.

“Get out of my way, you oaf!” Wu Sheng shouted, his voice reverberating across the stone walls in the expansive hall.

Wu Sheng raised a hand to strike a blow to Yun Xiao’s face, but the Impaler caught Wu Sheng’s slender wrist as easily as if he were a helpless woman.

“Sorry, no can do. I’ll admit I don’t really get it myself, but Mie Tian Hai wants you to stay. I get not wanting to be with your killer, but fighting a guy like you while you’re in this state isn’t my style.”

The rage which Wu Sheng had managed to suppress until that moment began welling up again inside him like a roaring fire, leaking out from the sores and cracks etched into his very essence. He did not hate Mie Tian Hai for killing him, the man had done exactly what he desired him to do. Much like seeing Xue Ya’s look of defeat, finally letting go of that life filled with nothing but constant, unyielding torture was the ultimate gift.

But what of that now? He was trapped again in this place, with his suffering, with his regret, beaten at his own game by someone more proficient than he, more worthy than he to turn the Gale’s game back at him.

And yet, they were here, and Xue Ya was not. He had escaped Wu Sheng yet again. He was more mist than man, with no more tangible substance that could be held close than a cloud of smoke that lingered in the air, like the tobacco vapors that constantly hung about him. Was there any person alive who could touch such a creature? Hold him closely? Someone whose magnetism was so great that even the Gale couldn’t resist its pull?

As it had in the wasteland, Wu Sheng could feel his strength failing. He hung his head in shame. Without fail, every time he thought of Xue Ya, he became nothing more than a child.

The Impaler, sensing that the fight had left his opponent, let go of Wu Sheng, who responded by shoving Yun Xiao away with more force than the other had expected. He stumbled backwards a few steps, but was caught by Mie Tian’s guards before falling.

“Well, he wasn’t lying. He really does have quite a bit of strength even without his swords,” Yun Xiao said to himself. “I guess I shouldn’t wonder why Bones of Creation wants him around.”

Sha Wu Sheng approached the throne of Mie Tian Hai, whose hungry eyes had not left him for a moment since he first entered the throne room.  
“What exactly is it that a man like you wants from me? Wasn’t taking my life enough for you?”

At that, the Bones of Creation rose to his feet, the guards standing nearby bowing respectfully as he descended the few steps to meet Sha Wu Sheng face to face.

“While it is true that I stole something from you, Phoenix Killer, it wasn’t your life. Your life, yourself, your spirit is the thing here before me, in all of its anguish and misery.”

Bones of Creation laid his hand on Wu Sheng’s open chest, fanning his fingers and running them over the wound he had given. Surprisingly, the touch was warm against Wu Sheng’s flesh. The longer it lingered, the hotter Wu Sheng felt. How could this be? He was dead, dead to the world, dead to everything. Was just this simple acknowledgement, a moment’s affection even from the worst of humanity’s villains, enough to bring some vigor to his decaying soul?

“Your body is the thing that I took from you while we were living. If The Enigmatic Gale has no use for this beautiful edge, this fierce, piercing sword who rends others asunder without mercy, then I shall rescue this treasure from him.”

With a swift motion, in much the same way that Mie Tian Hai had struck his fatal blow, he pulled Sha Wu Sheng to him, nearly crushing the man’s chest against his own. Wu Sheng struggled in vain to escape the vice-like grip, but he found that he could not – or was it, that he did not want – to continue to fight any longer.

Wu Sheng felt those same fingers wrapping around his chin, in the way that they had done in the moments before his death. Bringing Wu Sheng’s face towards himself, Bones of Creation spoke in a dulcet tone against the Phoenix Killer’s lonely lips:  
“I shall be the sheath for this beautifully forged, yet neglected blade. What say you?”

Sha Wu Sheng closed his eyes and sighed, though he could not hide the smile which was forming. This was not what he had wanted, what he expected to happen. But an eternity of this was preferable to what he had endured thus-far. Anything to numb the pain, any measure of comfort should be taken, he thought. What choice did he have?

“You’re just like him. Both of you, so arrogant. Thinking you can have anything you wish.”

Mie Tian Hai slid his hand around Wu Sheng’s back, dipping him back slightly into an even more vulnerable position.

“And here is the Phoenix Killer, the eager whore, willingly giving himself yet again to such men. You do so desire to be dominated in this fashion. How can he and I not choose to do that very thing?”

She Wu Sheng scowled, adding: “And you both love to hear yourselves talk.”

Mie Tian Hai laughed openly at this. He could not deny that both he and The Enigmatic Gale were men with terrifyingly expansive egos. And it was true, that both of them did not like to lose, least of all the treasures they set their sights on.

“My apologies,” Bones of Creation said, before pressing his lips against Wu Shengs, his tongue gliding inside the soft, hot cavity. He explored the area for some time, a trail of saliva running down the Phoenix Killer’s strong jaw.

Watching this display, Yun Xiao could feel an uncomfortable tightness below. It had been ages since he had held anyone in his arms. He couldn’t even remember the last person it had been. He had never been in love, and he wasn’t stupid enough to believe what he was seeing was that. But it was something. And in this place, a little something amounted to quite a lot.

For the first time in his life, devoid of true companionship which had served him faithfully in his ruse as a false protector of the people, he felt envious. He was beginning to understand Sha Wu Sheng’s position in regards to Lin Xue Ya, if only marginally. He had betrayed the only person who ever truly loved him, who respected him and admired him, and that lingering regret was beginning to eat him from the inside, slowly, like a sore which consumes one until there was nothing left.

“If you don’t need anything else, I’ll be retiring for the moment,” Yun Xiao announced.

Mie Tian Hai broke the kiss, the Phoenix Killer like a doll in his arms. Wu Sheng turned away from Yun Xiao, embarrassed to be seen in such a position by a man that he had no liking for.

“You’ve done well, Impaler. I give you leave to go.”

With that, Yun Xiao bowed slightly, nudging the cronies out of the way as he hastily exited the hall.

When he was certain the Impaler was out of earshot, Wu Sheng spoke aloud: “You certainly keep strange company.”

Mie Tian Hai released his hold on Wu Sheng, who tottered a bit before regaining his footing. He wasn’t used to being handled in such a fashion, and the sudden passionate kiss left him dazed. There was desire in the kiss, that was evident. But within the man known as The Bones of Creation existed no fondness, no empathy for the human condition. The Phoenix Killer was nothing more than the new addition to his collection. It seemed he had moved on from swords – after all, where would be find them in this place? – to something more carnal.

Bones of Creation turned back towards his throne, ascending once more to take his place on the throne.

“He has his uses. He brought you to me, after all. And besides,…” Mie Tian Hai’s grip on the arms of his chair tightened, his mouth curling into a mischievous grin. “I feel you two may have a lot to talk about.”

At first Wu Sheng couldn’t comprehend the hint. However, the more he thought on it, he soon realized the connection that bound them together.

“I don’t wish to speak of that matter to anyone, least of all that man,” was Wu Sheng’s sharp retort.

At that moment, one of Mie Tian Hai’s servants approached him, carrying a goblet made from stone on a tray of the same substance. Wu Sheng wondered where the man could have gotten wine in such a place.

"Understandable. I will not force you. It was only a suggestion. Time moves so slowly here, after all. It was simply a way to pass the time."

Taking the goblet in his hand, Bones of Creation held it out. The servant, exposing his arm, cut the vein at the wrist, the ruby liquid pouring slowly into his master’s cup. When it had filled to the brim, the servant pulled his arm away, and another pressed the wound to prevent further blood-flow. Sha Wu Sheng's stomach churned when Bones held his head back and drained the contents, wasting not a single drop.

When he had finished, he placed the goblet on the tray once more, which was taken away by a different attendant.

“Don’t look so surprised, Phoenix Killer. There exists nothing of value in this place, not a thing grows here. We need not drink nor eat; but in truth, I do miss the sensation.”

Wu Sheng felt queasy, although the sight of blood was not the thing which disturbed him. This place, this man, this entire affair, felt a mockery of life. He was seized with a sudden, desperate desire to live.

“I will have one of my servants show you to your chamber,” Mie Tian Hai said, motioning for a man behind Wu Sheng to come forward. “As I’m certain you’ve guessed, the accommodations are a bit lacking. Still, it’s far better to be here than with those poor fools you’ve seen wandering about outside.”

Wu Sheng, not bothering to respond or give any indication of thanks, turned on his heel and quietly followed the servant. Mie Tian Hai watched the fading form of his newest acquisition exit the hall with a look of intense pride and satisfaction.

“My master, the Screaming Phoenix Killer is unhinged. He may not make a good companion,” was the advice from the servant to Mie Tian Hai’s left.

The man known as Bones of Creation held his chin, contemplating his decision.

“On the contrary. Those two are perfect pets. They simply need disciplining.”


	2. To be Tempted

Yun Xiao sat in his room on the slab he used for a makeshift bed, his head hoisted by his hands as his eyes idly roamed the ceiling. In the stone, he could almost see star-like patterns. He recalled all those nights sleeping beneath the clear sky, with only the moon for light and a small fire for warmth.

_“Don’t worry about it, aniki. I’ll go get the wood. You just sit tight!”_

Whose voice was that echoing in his head?

Yun Xiao turned to the side as he had then, seeing the vision of the young man who had been his companion and protégé for what seemed like eternity, but in actuality had only been a few months at that moment in time.

_“Don’t go too far. Who knows what sort of demons or bandits are lurking in the forest out there. I’m not about to come out there and rescue you, you know.”_

The younger man pointed to himself and smirked, showing a glint of white teeth.

_“Don’t worry. There’s nothing out there that could possibly best me. I’ll be back before this fish we’re cooking is even done. Watch!”_

Once the boy was out of earshot, Yun Xiao remarked to himself: _“Stupid kid. Doesn’t know when to quit.”_

He closed his eyes as if he would fall asleep. But he did not sleep. He stayed awake, albeit barely moving, until he could hear the younger man’s swift footfalls returning to the campsite with the firewood.

_“Hey! No fair! My dinner is burnt and you ate yours already!”_

Yun Xiao smiled without bothering to open his eyes, knowing full well the pout the younger man was currently sporting.

_“This is what happens when you do your morning chores at nighttime.”_

He could hear the sound of the wood being dropped haphazardly into a pile behind him, and a few hunks thrown into the flames with a groan. After that, the muffled noise of him consuming his inedible meal.

“Disgusting,…” the young man commented, but finished it all the same.

The kid was a nuisance to Yun Xiao, that was certain. But he did have his uses. He didn’t have to do all those laborious chores alone anymore. And he had someone else to watch out for trouble. And although the young man’s constant pestering for heroic stories of his past did become irritating, it helped to have someone to sing his praises to the common folk, which more often than not resulted in free room and board in larger towns.

That’s all someone like Juan Can Yun was good for at the end of the day.

Wasn’t it?

Turning his head in the opposite direction, Yun Xiao glanced outside to the burning red skyline. He could see the same young face again, but this time it was enraged, the bright blue eyes that had looked to him with reverence and delight glossed over with the cruel realization of what his beloved master really was.

_“I want to live without regrets!”_

The young man’s words, compared to his own, had sounded to powerful. So sure. Yun Xiao himself had been the impetus for Juan Can Yun to become a man.

Since that day, Yun Xiao had never been able to forget the look the “Frozen Spear” had shown him when they had their final confrontation at the temple. Can Yun’s childlike optimism had been replaced with the harsh realizations of an adult: your heroes are never what they seem. People you love will eventually betray you. Only those who use prevent themselves from being used.

_“I hadn’t expected a man like you to take on an apprentice.”_

A new voice invaded the Impaler’s thoughts suddenly. Delicate and seductive, but hiding sinister intent. A conversation from an earlier time.

_“Listen, if you’re worried about the kid ruining your fun, I take full responsibility. He’s an idiot, but he’s useful in a pinch.”_

The person whom he had been speaking to took a long drag on his pipe and exhaled, the noxious fumes entering Yun Xiao’s nostrils and nearly making him ill.

_“Ho ho, I wouldn’t think of accusing you of that. I’m aware that you wouldn’t make any careless mistakes. I’m paying you well enough to keep up your title and for your excursions, so I highly doubt jeopardizing my plans with the follies of the youth is part of your intent.”_

Lin Xue Ya. Even now, though he had been dead for a long while, the name still sent shivers down his spine. The Enigmatic Gale, whose piercing red eyes foretold nothing but misfortune for men like him, had been his business partner since the day Xue Ya had discovered the truth behind the Impaler’s glorious reputation. 

How he had done it, through what channels, Yun Xiao couldn’t even begin to imagine. But rather than expose the Impaler as a fraud, Xue Ya had instead chosen to bribe him. Looking back, he would have preferred the shame of exposure to becoming the pawn of a man like The Enigmatic Gale.

_“Heroism doesn’t exactly pay well. I see that your clothes are looking a little threadbare, oh honorable Shou Yun Xiao. It just so happens that I have a bit of wealth to spare. The only thing you need do to receive my patronage is to arrive when I summon you.”_

Yun Xiao’s grip on his bow tightened.

_“I don’t need to guess what would happen to me if I chose to ignore those summons.”_

The Enigmatic Gale’s rosy lips curled into a mischievous smile around his enchanted pipe.

_“Our agreement needn’t be so harsh. I believe it to be mutually beneficial. After all, we both operate based on ruses, do we not? Besides, having a man like you that can walk freely amongst the people and draw their attention has uses for me. No doubt you’ll be able to find the worst of the lot far easier than I can. If I can take care of them first, your reputation will no doubt continue to soar!”_

The Gale laughed at his own cleverness, eagerly anticipating his future endeavors.

No, Yun Xiao did not like the man known as Lin Xue Ya. He did not like him any more than he liked himself. But affection needn’t play a part in every relationship. That only led to unnecessary attachment,…and likewise, trouble down the line.

_“Fine. Just leave the kid out of it. He’s enough to handle as it is, without you throwing more ruffians his way.”_

Xue Ya rested his elbows on the table at which they were both seated, sliding a full cup of sake towards Yun Xiao. Unlike the Impaler, Lin Xue Ya was not much of a drinker. If he had to guess, Yun Xiao would bet money that his favorite drink was human tears.

_“Sentimental words for a man like you. But I promise that I won’t involve the boy, if it can be helped. His type bore me the most out of anyone.”_

It wasn’t long after this that Yun Xiao received his first summons from the man known as The Enigmatic Gale.

_“I assume you know of the Sword Saint tournament? I’ve arranged a little game of my own. I would very much appreciate seeing you in person, to discuss further details,…”_

Yun Xiao held the letter in his hands as if it were a note informing him that he was soon to be sent to the gallows. Those were how the words of Lin Xue Ya felt as he read them.

Yun Xiao knew that for three years Xue Ya had been using The Screaming Phoenix Killer as his “bodyguard”, so the Impaler had assumed he had struck a similar deal with Wu Sheng as he had with himself. As the details of Xua Ya’s plans unfurled and his place in them became clear, Yun Xiao’s distaste for the Enigmatic Gale soon morphed into something akin to revulsion, and perhaps fear. The man was a slow-acting poison, one that was quickly spreading through the reckless assassin’s defenseless body.

 _“I’m going to meet an old friend for a few days, don’t bother following me,”_ Yun Xiao had instructed his pupil. _“While I’m gone, why don’t you go into the next village across the hills, and find us a place to stay for a week? I heard that the people there have been terrorized by rogue warriors lately.”_

Juan Can Yun’s face lit brightly when he heard this rumor, no doubt thinking of all the praise that would be heaped upon him were he to take them out by himself.

The Impaler rudely ruffled the boy’s hair and gave him a shove in the opposite direction.

_“Get lost. If you spend all our money while I’m gone, there’ll be hell to pay when I get back.”_

Yun Xiao threw the young man his purse. Can Yun caught it, feeling the weight of it, heavy with coins that he had no clue belonged to the most infamous bandit in all of Dong Li.

_“You got it, aniki! I’ll get us the best damn room in the whole town! Tons of booze, too! Oh, and maybe some women! You know they all want to meet with guys like us, right?!”_

The boy kept talking as he walked down the road. 

_“I’ll start thinking of a cool nickname for myself while you’re gone! I’ve got a few in mind already, tell me what you think when you get back!!”_

Yun Xiao shook his head at the boy’s idiocy.

_“Trust me, kid. You don’t want a title. Titles get guys like you eaten by guys like this.”_

Yun Xiao unfurled the letter once again, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to do. He began to wonder who the bigger fool was in all of this: his pupil, the Screaming Phoenix Killer,…or himself.

\----

“You’re thinking about it, are you not?”

A voice disturbed the silence, breaking Yun Xiao’s concentration. He been reminiscing so intently of the past that his present circumstances had almost ceased to exist.

Mie Tian Hai’s form appeared in the doorframe, though he was not wearing his usual attire. Instead, he sported a long, silken robe that Yun Xiao had not seen before. The hue was a deep navy, embellished with silver thread along the seams, tied at the waist with a sky-blue sash. Though clearly belonging to someone of high rank, the Impaler could see that the robe was splattered with blood.

There was only one way to receive this type of garment here. He had forcibly taken it from one of the many lost souls, who had no doubt worn it in their final moments.

Yun Xiao sneered when he saw it.

“Don’t you have any damn pride at all?”

The lord of the castle entered the room, his feet barely making a sound as his floor-length robe trailed behind him.

“Lofty words coming from a man like you, taking residence in a place like this.”

Mie Tian Hai raised his hands and motioned about the room, as if to emphasize his point. 

But the Impaler certainly didn’t need a reminder of the type of man he was. He knew it all too well.

When the Impaler didn’t respond to his initial inquiry, Bones of Creation approached the bed, casually taking a seat near the other man’s relaxed form. Though Yun Xiao was physically older and slightly larger than Mie Tian Hai, the master of the castle’s menacing demeanor made him seem even more imposing than Yun Xiao.

Yun Xiao clearly did not enjoy Mie Tian Hai’s presence, but he did not make any attempt to move from his spot. He was a guest there, just like the Phoenix Killer was. He had a similar arrangement now with Mie Tian Hai as he had with The Enigmatic Gale all those years ago, which is how he justified to himself his reluctance to leave. The similarities between the two men were strikingly apparent to him, right down to the darkness ever lurking behind their finely-formed faces and enticingly beautiful eyes.

“Having that man here disturbs you greatly, even though you try to hide it from him and from me,…”

As he spoke, Mie Tian Hai placed his hand on Yun Xiao’s muscular thigh, stroking the tender flesh as one would pet a cat.

Yun Xiao looked to Mie Tian Hai with his single functioning eye.

“I think you’re overestimating things as usual, Bones,” came Yun Xiao’s casual response. “Why, is that why you brought him here? In an attempt to torture me? It won’t work. I don’t have any attachments now to the world of the living.”

Mie Tian Hai leaned forwards, his nearly angelic beauty almost farcical in comparison with his true nature.

“I find that difficult to believe. Every individual here is here precisely because of their attachments. Both you and I know that. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Yun Xiao looked back to the ceiling as Mie Tian Hai continued; the man’s voice, the heat escaping from his body, unsettling and yet somehow bizarrely comforting. Yun Xiao was no better than Sha Wu Sheng after all, in their eagerness. For money, for power, for fame, for love,…what did any of it matter? Whether he was a tool, or made a tool of someone else for his own gain, who cared?

But if that were true, if the thing that he tried to convince himself of were true, then why was he here, in this cursed wasteland?

“It was rude of you to leave so abruptly, you know. I had wanted you to be the one to show him to his room. I have to say, though,…that it was a rare sight to see you become so disturbed by something as simple as a kiss.”

Mie Tian Hai’s wandering hand came to rest on Yun Xiao’s penis, which instantly came to painful life with only a few strokes.

Yun Xiao’s legs instinctively drew up, and his upper body rose in turn, the Impaler grabbing Mie Tian Hai roughly by the robe.

“You’re pushing it, Bones,” was the Impaler’s incensed response to the lord’s invasion of his body and his privacy.

In response to what he knew was bluster, the Bones of Creation smiled his infernal, all-knowing smile at his favorite ward.

“No need for that, now. Knowing the past you two share, it’s apparent to me why you’ve become so uneasy. However, even though you’ve told me of your involvement with Lin Xue Ya and your plans regarding The Phoenix Killer’s downfall, I don’t believe it to be the only reason for your current state.”

Mie Tian Hai brushed Yun Xiao away, as easily as one would remove a stray flower petal or piece of dirt from their clothing.

“Both you and I had a hand in that man’s demise. But unlike yourself, taking his life meant nothing to me. As a matter of fact, what I did to him was something neither you nor the Gale had any intention of doing. Putting the beaten dog out of his misery was a mercy. If you find my actions in bringing him here distasteful, it is only because of your own guilt, not my own.”

Mie Tian Hai’s hands, which he used to swipe Yun Xiao’s away, were placed on either side of the Impaler’s angular face.

“Both you and he enjoyed it, didn’t you? His painful wails, his muffled sobs. His beautiful face, streaked with blood and tears,…”

“Like hell I did!”

Yun Xiao struggled to turn his face away, but Mie Tian Hai did not let him. His grip was as powerful as a vice, the accusatory tone of voice causing the Impaler’s skin to break into goose flesh.

“And now, you want something else, don’t you? Your conflicted soul is crying out for companionship, the same as his. Thanks to you and that man Lin Xue Ya, the fearsome Phoenix Killer is nothing more than a vulnerable boy. As I recall, you seem to have a bizarre attachment to those.”

At that, Yun Xiao pushed Mie Tian Hai as hard as he could off the bed. As he stumbled backwards, nearly falling, Bones of Creation laughed at the Impaler’s sudden burst of strength and rage. He was right in his assessment, in that Sha Wu Sheng’s presence would have an adverse effect on the stoic archer.

Mie Tian Hai held out his hand to Yun Xiao in an almost conciliatory gesture, even though the person who loomed over his new master was like a bear provoked to attack.

“As is often the case, your body is much more honest than your words, Impaler. You wish to know that man in a way that is unlike The Enigmatic Gale. You’ve always been a man of few words, have you not? But I can see into your desires very clearly.”

“Get the hell out, Mie Tian Hai. Just the sound of your voice is grating on my nerves.”

The Bones of Creation, rather than doing what he was commanded, reached out and twirled a strand of Yun Xiao’s loose hair around his finger.

“I shall leave you to your thoughts then. My time would be better spent with more,…willing company, don’t you think? Tell me, though, before I leave,… how do you think his flesh would feel when pressed against yours? How tightly would his eager little hole grasp you, never having known such pleasure? What face would he make when you released inside him?”

Yun Xiao narrowed his eye, but he did not stop Mie Tian Hai from describing this scene. The Phoenix Killer’s face, contorted in rage, was as clear to him then as it had been the day he and Lin Xue Ya watched the man’s life unravel before them. Sha Wu Sheng’s piercing, pitiful cries reverberated in his ears as as they had off the walls of the arena of the Sword Saint.

His heart began to convulse, just as strongly as the painful erection which now throbbed incessantly from Mie Tian Hai’s attention.

“You should go to him, One-Eyed Impaler. If for no other reason than to assuage your guilt, which you claim not to possess.”

Mie Tian Hai rearranged his robe, turning to leave Yun Xiao’s chambers. As the master exited, Yun Xiao could hear a faint chuckle in the distance.

Dropping down on the edge of the bed in defeat, Yun Xiao rested his head in his hands, peering down at his feet, and the unpleasant bulge between his thighs. He and Enigmatic Gale weren’t different at all, were they? But he knew there was no chance that a man like Lin Xue Ya could feel any remorse at all for things he’d done.

For a moment, Yun Xiao pictured the Phoenix Killer on his knees in front of him, taking his aching erection with gusto, his dark lips enveloping it as eagerly as Lin Xue Ya drew from the pipe forever resting in his treacherous mouth, his lonely eyes begging for Yun Xiao to release down his creamy throat.

The Impaler could feel his seed leaking out of its own volition. Mie Tian Hai was right all along. None of them were any different from each other. They all wanted to consume, devour the man known as Sha Wu Sheng until there was nothing left of him. Use him, abuse him, relish his suffering. But for what purpose? From where did this perverse desire spring?

After coaxing out the rest of his burden with his own hand with a low growl, Yun Xiao fell against the slab of rock and breathed heavily. In his mind, he had just returned back to the inn to meet his young protégé again.

_“I thought of one while you were gone. What do you mean ‘what’? A title! The Frozen Spear. What do you think? It’s bound to strike fear into the hearts of anyone dumb enough to challenge me!_

_Hey, why do you look so glum? Couldn’t you find your friend?_

_Aniki? Oi,…Aniki….”_


	3. To be Forgiven

The last thing Shou Yun Xiao remembered before totally losing consciousness was a feeling of falling. How far, he did not know. He was not alive to feel himself hit the bottom.

When he awoke, he remembered gasping for breath. There was a tightness around his neck and in his lungs. As he struggled to fill them once more, he scratched hastily at his throat, attempting to remove the strands of a whip which were no longer there.

Once his breathing became more regular and he knew he was no longer in mortal peril, he ceased moving. At that moment, as he adjusted to his new reality, he became aware of sunlight beating down on him from above. He shielded his face to look at it with his one remaining eye. It was irregular, a hazy blood red hue, its boiling heat radiating across the harsh landscape. Yun Xiao could feel beads of sweat running down his face, taste gritty sand between his teeth. 

He began to laugh. Softly at first, as his throat and lungs still pained him. Eventually louder, the sound alien even to his own ears.

“I knew it,” he said to himself. “It’s just like I imagined it would be.”

Unsteadily rising to his feet, he habitually reached for his bow and arrows, only to discover they were not there. It seemed the only thing he came with to this place were the clothes on his back. He was thankful for that at least, as it provided him with some protection from the sun’s rays, though it did not help with the sweating. He was surprised he could even do that, knowing full well that he was dead.

Seeing nothing of immediate interest in either direction, Yun Xiao set his sights into the distance. Was this purgatory meant to be a solitary venture?

“Only one way to find out,” he said, slowly making his way towards an unknown future.

\----

After wandering for what could have been either hours or days – time seemed to flow so slowly in this place that it mattered not, as the sun above never moved – Yun Xiao encountered them.

His first sight of wandering (as he could no longer consider them or himself as living) things were a mother and her young son. He couldn’t have been more than eleven or twelve, yet to reach the cusp of manhood. They were peasants, dressed in tattered robes, their emaciated faces the telltale sign of exhaustion and starvation. The pair were covered in festering boils, the marks of an infectious disease. Without proper nutrition or medical care, this fate was all too common for people of the Impaler’s age. Their shoeless, bleeding feet indicated that they had been wandering aimlessly for some time.

Looking at the sorrowful pair, Yun Xiao felt a twinge of pity.

“Where are you headed, mother?” asked the Impaler to the woman. 

The woman did not acknowledge the question. She didn’t seem to hear him.

“Hurry, we have to find your father,” she said to her son, pulling him along with her calloused hands. She brushed past Yun Xiao as if he were a specter with no solid form. He could feel her robe against his skin, yet she did not to feel him. “He’ll know a doctor. He knows all sorts of people.”

The boy’s face contorted in anger. “It was my job! He told me, I should have protected us! I should have helped us!”

“Nonsense, nonsense,…” the mother responded, over and over. “He’s close, I know he is,…he’s in the village across the way for the Summer, you know,..”

Yun Xiao opened his mouth as if he were going to tell them the truth about their predicament, but he said nothing. What point would there be in that? They wouldn’t believe him.

Still, it was strange that neither one had even glanced in his direction. Additionally, they acted as if they were still alive. How was it that he could know where they were, what they were, and yet they did not?

Standing alone, watching their haggard forms fading into the waves of blowing sand, his eyes went wide as he realized something. The two had something inside of them. Something he had lost long ago, even before he’d taken his last breath.

Hope.

The ones who knew the truth of this place were ones who had lost all hope. Of leaving, of living, of any sort of future. They had accepted their cruel fate. He was nothing more than part of the landscape now.

The Impaler began to laugh again. This time, the laugh, while knowing, was tinged with agony.

\----

He would do anything for a drink.

What the Yun Xiao really wanted was some hard sake, anything at all to dull the pain of his body and mind, but water would have been fine. His lips and mouth were caked and dry, his nose and throat agitated by the coarse sands which blew in despite his best efforts to cover himself. If he were alive, the amount of sweat leaving him would have killed him long ago. But that was longer his concern. He suffered merely to suffer.

A passing cloud covered the blazing sun momentarily, giving him some respite. He had come to a group of rocks, some of many which littered the sightless plains. He chose the least jagged of the lot, and took a seat. 

He didn’t know how long he’d been there. It didn’t really matter. He would be there forever, he assumed, wandering just like this. He had seen many figures akin to the mother and son, and all treated him in a similar manner as they had. They were searching for something, or someone, desperately. 

He had given up all thoughts of helping them. After all, who was worse off, he or they?

As Yun Xiao was about to drift into an oddly peaceful slumber, perhaps finally accepting that nothing could be done about his current state, he noticed someone coming towards him, only a few feet away.

The man was large in stature. Even in this vast place, he cut a fine figure. He was dressed entirely in white, though stained with sweat and the ravages of the weather. Atop his mane of orange hair glistened a golden headpiece, and his robes were similarly embellished. He was clearly a person of esteem. However, his clothing was soaked with blood, as red as if he had just been killed. He hobbled along uncomfortably, his right foot pierced with an arrow which he dragged through the sand.

Shou Yun Xiao stared at the man as if he were not a human being, but a demonic presence that had appeared to haunt him. This man was no stranger, neither was the shape of the arrowhead sticking out so plainly, remnants of a treachery long since past.

The Impaler’s throat, already parched, struggled to produce the words:

“Tie Di Xian!”

At that, the man halted. Hearing this name spoken aloud, it seemed as if he had recognized it, but was unaware if belonged to him. It was likely that it was the first time he had heard it since entering this Hell.

Turning towards Yun Xiao, he spoke, addressing him, clearly able to see and understand him.

“You,…I know you not.”

The Impaler felt a momentary sense of relief at being acknowledged. Finally, he could speak with someone that understood him. But of all people to be the one! Surely this was no mistake!

“I know you, but not in a way that you would find pleasant,” was Yun Xiao’s reply.

Tie Di Xian turned his gaze away. In the other man’s eyes, he could see a burning fire of resentment.

“Then leave me be. I have no qualms with you.”

The Impaler clenched his fists as the man made a few more labored steps. He knew he was shaking, the emotions surging through him more violent than the storm which raged endlessly around them. 

In order to be able to see him, Yun Xiao knew that this man, previously called Sword Saint, no longer was propelled forwards by the light of hope. Instead, it had been replaced by something even stronger.

Revulsion. Hatred. Scorn. Disappointment. Revenge. All emotions that should have been reserved for him and the one behind it all: The Enigmatic Gale, who had once called both the Sword Saint and his target friend.

Yun Xiao stood slowly, narrowing his eyes at the man in front of him.

“And just where do you think you’re going?”

The Sword Saint halted once more, glancing back at Yun Xiao. The look on his face was one of determination, but also derision, as if Yun Xiao had asked an offensive question.  


“I’ll stop him. I have to. There’s no telling what he’s up to. This time, I’ll finish it. I’ll,…”

A burst of blood came forth from the man’s mouth, running down his face and into his long beard, mark of his grievous internal injuries which would never heal. This seemed to weaken him, and he dropped down onto his good leg, pressing a large hand against the two open wounds in his chest.

Yun Xiao spurted over to the wounded warrior, taking the man by his robes and pulling with surprising vigor. The Sword Saint himself seemed stunned by the stranger’s strength and rage.

“You goddamned son of a bitch! You idiot! You’ve been,…this whole time? Why? Give it up you! What do you think you can accomplish? He’s dead, you hear me? Dead as you and I!”

Di Xian’s face softened, the fire burning in his wayward soul loosening its grip as Yun Xiao tightened his.

“How do you,…who,…?”

“Shut the hell up, you old bastard! Who do you think was behind all this? You think your Phoenix Killer is the only one on Earth capable of such crimes? You take everything you see at face value, and yet lord over others? To judge them?! Sword Saint my ass, you’re nothing but a blind old man, just as sick as the rest of us!”

Seeing the look Di Xian was giving him, a mixture of confusion, suspicion and horror, reminded him of the words that Lin Xue Ya had said to him on that day:

“ _This gathering where they judge each other’s skills,…it’s always gotten on my nerves, you see._ ”

He knew now what Lin Xue Ya meant by that. The Sword Saint tournament, prestigious titles, none of it meant anything at all, least of all down in this rotten Hell, forsaken by man. He longed to make a mockery of anyone stupid enough to believe in such things, using their own pride against them. Both Sha Wu Sheng and his master lived their life in this manner, and even in death, the master could not forgive or forget the affront to his honor.

Yun Xiao released the elder man, his sizable form forcefully hitting the barren earth. Being confronted by his own weakness, the Sword Saint’s body almost seemed to fold in on itself. His eyes never left Yun Xiao.

“How,..how dare,…what do you,…know of this!?” His voice was weak, unsure, as if he had begun to understand something that he dared not say aloud.

“Let me ask you something, since you know so much. Do the names The Sharp-Eyed Impaler ring a bell? Maybe The Enigmatic Gale? Think long and hard about it. Or do they not register, since only swordsmanship rules your heart?”

The Sword Saint opened his mouth as if to speak, but no words came. His hands began to visibly quiver.

“Tell me. Who do you think was responsible for everything that happened that day? Who would benefit the most from taking down everything you’ve worked so hard to build? Who would get the most enjoyment from your suffering, and his? Who do you think would hire someone like me, to do something like that?,” he motioned to the Sword Saint’s injured foot. “Well?!”

As the pieces began to fit themselves together, slowly but surely, Tie Die Xian fell forward, his hands clutching at the barren land, fists of sand flowing through his fingers as the blood from his mouth and chest continued to gush forth.

“Then he,…my Wu Sheng,…truly,…had you come there to please me? It’s a lie, you must be,…you,…”

Yun Xiao’s face hardened. He had not thought of helping this man, but nor did he hold a grudge as did Xue Ya. They were nothing but players in the Enigmatic Gale’s grand play, strung along like marionettes by the strings called _fate_.

Onto the dry earth, Yun Xiao saw drops of water. The massive form of the Sword Saint, once so proud and lofty a figure, clutched his shoulders and sobbed like a child.

“My son,..my son,…I want to see you. I want to tell you,…”

The Impaler knelt down. It became difficult to discern the words of the Sword Saint through the violent emotions which choked him.

“So you,…he is,…”

“Yes, he has also perished. Just in the way that you taught him. He died as he lived: by the sword.”

A smile formed on the man’s face, full of bitterness and defeat.

“I wouldn’t,…I stand by what I said then. I wouldn’t,…teach him that. Not again,…if I…had the chance. My poor Wu Sheng. He’ll never know the joy that he brought me in my loneliness. I wanted to,…please,…”

Di Xian looked towards Yun Xiao, the painful smile morphing into something much different. Through all his agony, his mistrust, his grief, a rush of peace settled upon the form of the tired old man.

“I thank you, though I know I should not. I know I should despise you and the Enigmatic Gale. But I find,…I cannot. I simply,…if you can do one thing for me,…find and tell him, tell him,…”

Yun Xiao closed his eyes in acknowledgement.

“I know.”

The wounds which had been plaguing the Sword Saint had stopped bleeding. Something was happening to the other man’s form, though his visage never changed, never acknowledged anything was amiss. Even through the haze rising from the heated and scorched earth, Yun Xiao could see that the master’s body was slowly beginning to fade.

Yun Xiao reached out, only to have his hand pass through the once solid form of Tie Di Xian. Before it disappeared into oblivion, the serene face was still voicing the words: “ _Wu Sheng,...Wu Sheng_.”

After a few moments, the only thing that remained of the man known as the Sword Saint was a pile of weather-beaten, filthy clothing. It was if he had never existed.

The Impaler pushed the clothing to the side, and took the arrow which had long harmed the other man into his hand once more. The weight of it, the shape of it, everything about it was familiar. Though his mark was true that day as it had ever been, for the first time, Yun Xiao wished he had missed.

Still, it was comforting. He almost felt like himself again.

“You may meet him again before I do, old man,” he remarked. “Perhaps.”

Rising now, emboldened by the new knowledge of this place and the scene which he had witnessed, he tucked the broken arrow into his belt and began his aimless wandering once again.


End file.
